Just a Game

Elizabeth and Auvied picked me up from the apartment ten minutes past two in the afternoon, and Elizabeth blamed the delay on her boyfriend as soon as I got into the backseat of her black Honda. “I’m really sorry, Auvied wasn’t ready.” Elizabeth attempted to let out an exasperated sigh, to which Auvied threw his … More Just a Game

The Weekend Schnitzel: Vienna Declares Open Lobster Season

Vienna, Austria – After forecasts of a heat wave hitting the city in the next few days, Vienna’s municipal government has decided to declare open lobster season beginning this Friday, sources informed The Weekend Schnitzel.   “Oh, it’s lobster season, all right,” remarked café owner Markus Hummer. “Do you see all these tourists crawling about … More The Weekend Schnitzel: Vienna Declares Open Lobster Season

The Weekend Schnitzel: Austrians Bemoan Lack of Integration, Hurl Slurs at Immigrants to Speed Up Process

  Willagedorf, Austria – After a narrow victory by the Green Party’s Alexander Van der Bellen in the recent Austrian presidential election, Austrians who had voted for the Freedom Party’s candidate Norbert Hofer took the time to express their frustration and explain their reasons for having supported Mr. Hofer to The Weekend Schnitzel.   “Some … More The Weekend Schnitzel: Austrians Bemoan Lack of Integration, Hurl Slurs at Immigrants to Speed Up Process