“What’s your name? No, your name can’t be Hans. I don’t believe your name is Hans – you’re Chinese.” “Are you voting for Hillary or Clinton?” “Why not Trump? I don’t think he’s really that bad. Okay, fine, maybe he is.” “Do you have a girlfriend?” “I do!” “And what is she?” … More Speech Bubbles, Pt. III
By the time I had gotten back to Vienna from my girlfriend’s place in Lower Austria, Tuesday morning had come and gone, and I stood across the street from my four-story apartment where I was subletting until the end of September. A Brazilian bar that played Turkish music and a musty record shop run by … More Ignition (Vienna remix)
Katharina gave me a book titled Sprechen Sie Burgenländisch? as a going-away present last weekend when I visited her home in Rechnitz, a town fifty minutes outside of Pinkafeld. The book, whose title roughly translates to, “Do you understand these guttural noises disguised as German?”, was emblazoned with a photo of an elderly man wearing … More Sprechen Sie Burgenländisch?
Vienna, Austria – After forecasts of a heat wave hitting the city in the next few days, Vienna’s municipal government has decided to declare open lobster season beginning this Friday, sources informed The Weekend Schnitzel. “Oh, it’s lobster season, all right,” remarked café owner Markus Hummer. “Do you see all these tourists crawling about … More The Weekend Schnitzel: Vienna Declares Open Lobster Season
Willagedorf, Austria – After a narrow victory by the Green Party’s Alexander Van der Bellen in the recent Austrian presidential election, Austrians who had voted for the Freedom Party’s candidate Norbert Hofer took the time to express their frustration and explain their reasons for having supported Mr. Hofer to The Weekend Schnitzel. “Some … More The Weekend Schnitzel: Austrians Bemoan Lack of Integration, Hurl Slurs at Immigrants to Speed Up Process
The teachers this week asked me to prepare a lesson on human rights, a topic many of the classes were covering. During the short recess on Monday, I met with Juliana, one of the English teachers, who handed me the English textbook and flipped to the unit titled, “Standing Up for Your Rights.” “The unit … More I Say We Kill All Those Fahkers
After I finished writing my latest blog post and shared it on my Facebook, I also decided to share it with a Facebook group called “Americans in Vienna/Austria.” The reasoning was rather simple: I knew my friends would read my post and chuckle at what I had written, understanding that it was satire. On the … More Me, Myself, and a Chinese Woman
Some of my friends and family members back home have asked me, “Hans, what’s it like living in Austria?” I always emphasized the initial disappointment that one experiences when he or she realizes the importance of geography lessons in grade school and that this Austria doesn’t come with beaches or shrimps on the barbie; … More Nine Tips to Know Before Moving to and Living in Austria