“Dear Hans,”

I woke up Wednesday morning with a cold and texted my teachers at the HLW that I wouldn’t be able to make it to their classes. I found this note taped outside of my dormitory today. I felt better already.

Bacon in a Box

  I stayed with my friend Angie for Christmas break. Angie lived and worked in Vienna, and her couch came with the added benefit of extra blankets, fluffy pillows, and a kitchen fridge that could secretly be raided late at night. However, the couch also came with the drawback of an unspoken agreement that I… More Bacon in a Box

Traveling American Distraught after Locals Fail to Live Up to His Expectations

  Istanbul, Turkey – Richard Kopf, an American tourist staying in Istanbul for the weekend, was spotted at the Sultanahmmet Square on Saturday distraught and on the verge of tears after locals failed to live up to his expectations and accomodate him every step of the way. “It’s been a really tough trip, it really… More Traveling American Distraught after Locals Fail to Live Up to His Expectations

Local Austrian Teenager Laments Stupidity of Americans, Says They “Don’t Understand Concept of Safety”

PINKELNFELD, AUSTRIA – At a secondary school of a remote village in Austria, local teenager Stefan expressed resignation at the stupidity of Americans after a school lesson on mass shootings in the United States was given in his class. “How stupid do Americans have to be to hand out guns like candy?” A clearly frustrated… More Local Austrian Teenager Laments Stupidity of Americans, Says They “Don’t Understand Concept of Safety”

The British Pasttime

I arrived in London from snow-white Vienna on a gray afternoon full of Black Friday shoppers, and I texted Dan that we needed to go eat at a restaurant that was profoundly rich in British history and culture. He agreed and wrote that he understood. After I dropped off my duffel bag at his dorm,… More The British Pasttime

Shit Outta Luck

A thunderous gurgling emanated from my gut and woke me from Pattie’s bed. I had fallen asleep with my clothes on, and my shirt and pants reeked of cigarettes. I pulled myself up, clutched my throbbing head, and looked around to find myself alone in Pattie’s room. Patricia, my colleague who had let me crash… More Shit Outta Luck

12 Easy Steps to Becoming an U.S. Teaching Assistant

Graduate college with a sizable amount of debt.Preferably, you’ll have graduated with a degree that the Econ majors snicker at because, like, “What are you going to do with a degree in 18th Century English Literature?” Don’t worry, at least your grandfather believes in you – if you listen to his advice from the time he was a… More 12 Easy Steps to Becoming an U.S. Teaching Assistant