Speech Bubbles

“I think the child should be punched in the face.”
“Sebastian!”
“I’m sorry. I think the child should be metaphorically punched in the face.”

 

“My name is Jan. I like football. I also like sleep. Yes, yes. I like sleep very much.”
“That’s all you like to do, Jan?”
“I also like football.”

 

“Could you please say something very short about your opinion on organized religion and its role in history?”

 

“And what meaningful item would you bring to the deserted island, Lisa?”
“A chainsaw. So I can cut down the trees.”
“Huh. But is this a meaningful item to you?
“Yes.”
“Then do you have a name for this chainsaw?”
“Yes. Her name is Benjamin.”

 

Was gibt?”
“I’m your teaching assistant, that’s was gibt.”
Scheisse, I am so sorry.”

 

“Do you speak any other languages?”
“I was born in Japan – grew up there for eight and a half years. My mother is Japanese. I speak Japanese fluently.”
“Could you please speak some Chinese for us, then?”

 

“My name is Two Ships. No! I meant I would want to bring two ships.”

 

“Do you have a girlfriend? No? Why not? Are you a bad boyfriend?”

 

“I want to go to California for the beaches.”
“And which beaches would you like to see, Nikolas?”
“No, no. Bitches. For the bitches.”

 

“I had good weekend, but – how do you say this in English? – the next day I was very…”
“What Lukas wants to say is he is very big faggot.”

 

“And would you say that this artist is better than or worse than Justin Bieber?”
“Ha! Everything is worse than Justin Bieber!”

 

“Mr. Davidson, I would first of all like to thank you for being our teaching assistant in Pinkafed for this year, and we welcome you – ”
“Johannes, you don’t have to speak to me so formally.”
“Of course. My apologies, Mr. Davidson. Now if I may, I would like to ask you a question about where you are from, if that is okay.”

 

“Sometimes I am not sure whether I made the right decision to go to a technical school. I don’t know, I am only sixteen. I don’t know many things.”

 

“I would like to go to many different countries.”
“Which countries would you like to go to?”
“Probably California or England.”

 

“How old are you?”
“How old do I look?”
“Sixteen.”

 

“I would bring a photo of myself and my cousin. It was the last photo we took together before he died.”

 

“What kind of television do you like to watch?”
“Well, I didn’t use to watch television until I came to Austria, but now I watch all the great shows on my Austrian TV fairly regularly. I would say my favorite television shows are Alarm für Cobra: 11—“
“No!”
“I also like to watch Farmer Wants a Wife—
“No!!”
“And my favorite, Searching for a Daughter-in-Law.
“NOOO!!!”

 

“Do you miss your family?”
“Not too much. But I do miss them from time to time. Wait, what’s so funny about that?”
“It’s funny because I think I would miss my family, too.”

 

“We really like our teacher. She’s always there to talk about things when we are going through something.”
“She is like a second mom to us. We’re very lucky to have her.”

 

“Do you like us? I really hope you like us.”

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